Wrong way sign Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash.jpg

Even been around someone that has nothing but negative things to say? Every word that comes out of their mouth is a problem, a complaint or an issue–drama!

Those kinds of people drain me.

There was a day when I felt like I was one of those people. Almost everything that went through my mind was negative. Nothing ever seemed to go right, nothing I did seemed to work right, nothing that happened seemed to change for the better. It’s a tough way to live.

You know, Christians that are superior complainers look no different than people who don’t know Jesus. (And, unfortunately, I’ve seen several of them that are worse.) 😳

Why would anyone want that kind of Christianity?

Some of us may not be champion complainers, but I’m sure we could all agree, that we probably have some room for improvement.

I think if we’re going to try and stop complaining, it might help to understand why we do it in the first place.

So, why do we complain?

There could be many reasons, but we’re going to cover a few big ones.

Dirty Filter

A filter strains out junk and lets the good stuff flow through.

Our filter should help us filter out the negative, not dwelling on what’s bad, but allows us to see what is going right in our lives.

But, sometimes our filter gets clogged from with the sludge life can bring. Bad relationships, unruly kids, financial woes, a calendar that feels like a plague taking over our lives, and on and on it goes.

A clogged filter makes it hard for the good things in life to get through to us. It feels like we’re just attracting more junk as the new junk gets trapped in with the old junk–building a Mount Everest of problems.

Disappointment

The gap between expectation and reality is where disappointment lives. The bigger the gap the bigger the disappointment.

I’ve shared this before, but I was married once before in my early 20’s. Growing up, I had fairy tales dreams of a happily-ever-after.

I knew it was forever…except 5 years in he said he was done. My fairy tale dream turned into a toad. Disappointment set in–and the gap between my expectation and my reality was now a chasm.

So, how do we go from champion complainers to see the awesome opportunities God has for us to enjoy?

1. Filter Out The Negative

We become what we think on most. Think about negative thoughts regularly and our words and actions become more negative.

Think and dwell on what Paul talks about in Philippians 4:8, and our actions and words will line up with what’s good, worthy and of good report.

Philippians 4:8 NIV

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

As we cleanse our minds with thoughts like those in Philippians 4:8, that junk in our clogged filters will start to disintegrate.

2. Change Your Perspective

Perspective is everything.

You can view the bad that’s happened to you as all negative. Or, you can choose to look at it in another way. Why not ask, “what good can come from this?”

Now you’re asking a question that can get change working for you instead of against you.

I’m not saying what happened to you was good or even from God. But, when we choose to ask ourselves, “what good can come from this,” it gives God an opportunity to show us the good that came from this, is coming from this or can come from this.

Romans 8:28 NLT

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Back to my failed marriage. I did choose afterward, to ask myself, what good can come from this?

A lot! I realized that I only got married because someone liked me. Yes, my self-esteem was that low. But, it gave God an opportunity to work on my self-image and show me who I am in Christ.

On top of that, there have been many people I have had the opportunity to help through their own failed marriages and some, I got to help before they got into a bad marriage.

God has also used it as a learning opportunity so my current marriage can be that much better!

There really is a lot of good that came from an unhappy situation because I chose to change my perspective.

When we filter out the negative and we choose to change our perspective to see the good that can come from a negative situation, we won’t have that much to complain about. We are able to see all the amazing opportunities in our life and enjoy life as God meant for us to enjoy.

We’ll also be a better example of Christ to those around us. 😉

Podcast-Blog

How To Turn Complaining Into An Opportunity