How To Be Strong And Courageous When All Hell Is Breaking Loose In Your Life Part 4 - RULE
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Have you ever felt one of these emotions?
Overwhelm, anxiety, stress, frustration, doubt, worry, sadness, depression, despair, loneliness, guilt, or shame.
What about any of these emotions?
Joy, gratitude, hope, love, happiness, peace, excitement, awe, confidence, contentment, optimism, or enthusiasm.
Tell me, what do you feel when life takes a turn for the worse?
What emotions do you experience when life seems to be going your way?
What emotions do you sense when life looks pretty average?
Emotions, we all have them. Some of us express them more than others, yet we all feel them.
Emotions are just bio-chemical carries that provide feedback on our current mood.
They allow us to feel what we're thinking, and they're continually reacting to the inputs around us.
That's why on those days when it feels like all hell is breaking loose, our emotions many times get the better of us.
Personally, I enjoy feeling joy, hope, or peace rather than doubt, worry or shame. However, whatever we're feeling can be valuable to our growth process. And, growth is vital if we're going to respond in faith instead of continuing in fear when we're taking on the challenges of life.
In this series, we've learned that when things aren't going our way, we can choose to respond in faith or continue in fear. We also studied two steps to grow to the point that responding faith is our first response.
Step one is to renew our mind to what God thinks, and step two is to review our words so they line up with what Jesus would speak. This helps us be strong and courageous when all hell is breaking loose in our lives.
Step Three: Rule
The third step in our growth process is to rule our emotions. I would tell my kids it's becoming the boss of our feelings.
Emotions allow us to feel what we're thinking.
They provide feedback to determine if what we're thinking creates the emotions that serve us or reveals if what we're thinking threatens to drag us down the rabbit hole.
When our emotions take us to Depression Drive, Loneliness Lane or Anxiety Avenue, we're not experiencing the life God designed for us.
He's created us to live on Peaceful Place, Courageous Court and Loving Lane… that's not Lover's Lane, although if you're married, I say go for it! Have some fun!
Now, our Heavenly Father created emotions, and they are the spice of life. So, before we go any further, I want to clarify that I didn't say, don't feel. There are appropriate times to grieve, be angry, feel frustrated, etc.
I'm talking about living a healthy emotional life where your emotions don't make your decisions for you and run your life.
When we're down in the pit of despair, we're not going to be strong and courageous when we need it most. When we're full of anxiety, it shows we're focusing on what bad thing we're predicting will happen rather than focusing on the vastness of our good God.
So despair, worry, anxiety, depression, loneliness indicate that something isn't right in our mind, just like a pain in our side reveals something isn't quite right in our body.
When we experience negative emotions, what should we do?
Special Thanks to Bob Bunch for the story animation
1. Breathe
My eight-year-old daughter was on the counter the other day about to take a kid's allergy pill. I asked if she was ok and she expressed she was angry. I let her know an allergy pill wouldn't fix the anger, but I showed her a trick to help her work through the angry feeling and let it go.
Breathe.
When we pause and breathe through the emotion, it does two things.
We become aware of what we're feeling.
Breathing through it allows us to feel the emotion and then release it, letting it flow out of our bodies.
Research has discovered that emotional, chemical reactions only last 90-seconds. After that, the emotion only sticks around if we choose to stay in that emotional loop.
Remember, emotions are bio-chemical carriers allowing us to experience our current mood or what we're dwelling on. Once that 90-second chemical boost is complete, we are free to release that emotion if we choose.
So the next time you feel a negative emotion coming on out of nowhere, try breathing through it for 90-seconds. Then let it go if it's not serving you after that.
2. Question
Question the emotion. What is this emotion trying to tell you? What's the story behind it?
Don't just take it at face value. You can gain incredible clarity by understanding what's really going on inside.
There are many times I've gotten angry, and when I questioned the anger, it showed me that I was upset because I felt like my voice didn't matter at that moment. Feeling invisible goes way back into my childhood and is a trigger for me.
This is growth gold! You can't fix what you don't know is an issue. So, question that emotion and see what you discover!
3. Swap
It's time to get our imagination working for us instead of against us.
If that emotion isn't serving you further after you've questioned it, like depression, for instance, swap that negative emotion out for something that is serving you.
You may be thinking, "Wait, what? I can't make my emotions turn on a dime!"
You're right; you can't make your emotions turn on a dime, yet you can let them go after that 90-second chemical reaction.
The key to swapping out that negative emotion for an emotion that's serving you is to catch it early.
The sooner you swap, the easier it is to let the negative feeling go and embrace the positive one. It's that old say, "nip it in the bud."
The simplest way to swap the emotion is by changing what you're thinking about. Remember, emotions allow you to feel what you're thinking. So, swap the negative thought for a positive one.
Dr. Caroline Leaf, a Christian neuroscientist, says it like this:
We Think > We Feel > We Choose
That puts the ball in our court, so we have the power.
If we reverse Dr. Leaf's statement, we can reverse engineer our emotional experience.
First, choose what you want to feel; then determine the thought that will bring on those emotions.
If you want to feel happy:
Remind yourself of a happy moment, which will trigger your happy emotion.
If you yearn to feel contentment:
Remind yourself that you have everything you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).
If you desire to feel confident:
Remind yourself of all the times you accomplished something.
If you are still struggling with acknowledging your accomplishments, check out this post/video.
We have the power to swap that emotion by swapping our thoughts.
These are just three ways that will help you rule your emotions. I have more resources listed below for you to study this out further, including my four-session Living a Joy-Filled Life course that has an entire session devoted to taking charge of our emotions.
When we rule our emotions, it adds to our renew and review foundation so we can respond in faith and become strong and courageous no matter what comes our way.
Next week is the final installment, and I'll share with you the step that ties it all together.
Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free.
Discussion
Which step you would like to try this week to rule your emotions?
I actually already had to use the Breathe step…I had way too much on my plate and started to feel super anxious. I sat and Breathed my way through the anxiety and then let it go and it flowed out of my body. Then I was able to have a productive, focused and relaxed work day. 🙌
Resources
Course:
A Joy-Filled Life Online Course – $27.97 sale price: https://www.heatherlbunch.com/store/a-joy-filled-life-course
It is my four-session online course to help you live beyond your circumstances and enjoy some more life while you're at it. There's also a whole session devoted to more ways you can rule your emotions.
Books:
Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking by Dr. Caroline Leaf
Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess Journal
The 4:8 Principle: The Secret to a Joy-Filled Life by Tommy Newberry
This book focuses on our thought life. It's a perfect resource to get your imagination working for you instead of against you.