Podcast Episode 266 - Decoding the Puzzle of Human Motivation Part 7 – Does Need to Contribute Drive You?
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Do you meet everyone else’s needs and skip your own?
Do you feel most alive when you’re helping others?
Do you desire to live a life of real significance beyond yourself?
It’s the final episode of our series, decoding the puzzle of human motivation. We’re tackling the last of six human motivations or needs.
So today is for you if…
If you’re tired of feeling like everything you do isn’t making a difference.
If you desire a life that is greater than yourself.
If you’re ready to learn the ultimate secret of a life of joy and satisfaction.
There are six human needs that drive us. They put us on a quest to experience a life full of meaning.
We can meet these six needs in healthy ways or unhealthy ones.
If we don’t get our needs met healthily, we’ll try to get them met in any way we can, which usually leads to craziness or toxicity.
It’s time for our last need…#6 Contribution
Contribution believes:
Life is incomplete without the sense that you’re contributing to others or a cause.
You have to go beyond your own needs and give to others.
You desire to give back and to leave a mark on the world.
If this is you…contribution might be a top need.
What the Need for Contribution Looks Like:
Your focus is on the world, a cause, how to help others, and how to contribute.
You’re energetic and focused outwardly to the point that you can exhaust yourself.
You would like to stay healthy, but your need to contribute may drive you to neglect yourself and your health.
You avoid being weak, dependent and powerless.
You don’t want to lose the respect of those you care about.
Strengths
Brave
Persistent
Generous
Assertive
Communication Style
You’re energetic and firm but can be seen as controlling and disregarding others’ opinions.
Words you use frequently are: ideals, justice, the cause, fairness, compassion, and giving.
How Handle Stress
You can over-exert yourself and suffer from fatigue.
Injustice stresses you out.
It’s difficult to restrain yourself from being confrontational in the face of unfairness or injustice.
Get Defensive When
You become defensive with people who try to control you and those who are deceitful.
You’re defensive when people are indifferent to important causes and ideals.
How Emotions Show Up
You’re enthusiastic and outgoing but can become angry and confrontational.
How This Belief Serves You
By focusing on something beyond yourself, most of your problems and sources of pain become less significant.
You get certainty because you know there is always a way to contribute.
You have variety because there are many different ways of contributing.
You have significance because you know you’re helping others.
The spiritual bond that develops by helping others gives you a sense of connection.
You grow and develop by helping others.
The Principles You Lost Sight Of
You lose sight of the fact that charity begins at home.
You care for so many people or for such an important cause that you sometimes neglect taking care of yourself and your loved ones.
The Consequences of Losing Sight of These Principles
A consequence is that my physical, emotional or spiritual health may suffer.
You sometimes neglect your relationships, and people can resent the time and energy you put into a cause.
Growth Tactics If You Need for Contribution is Holding You Back:
The Goal for Growth:
Find a balance between caring for yourself and loved ones and your need to contribute to the larger good.
What Can You Do to Achieve Your Goal?
Notice that you can come across as too intense.
Acknowledge your need to take care of yourself.
Take care of relationships that matter to you before contributing to another cause.
What Interferes With Your Goal?
Contribution satisfies all your needs so much that you often ignore your own needs and neglect yourself and others.
Your lifestyle can lead to exhaustion.
Your need to always be strong and deny my vulnerability interferes with your goal for balance.
How Others Can Support You in Your Goal?
Others can encourage you to care for yourself and express your vulnerabilities.
They can stand their ground in expressing what they need from you regarding attention and energy.
Homework:
Pick a goal to focus on: balance caring for yourself or others.
Enlist others to support and encourage you in this goal.
Get comfortable asking for what you want by starting small and working up to more significant asks.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this series on the six human motivations. When you learn how to balance each one and meet your needs in healthy ways, you’ll enjoy more of your life on the way to where you’re going.
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