Why Intimacy Comes Before Purpose | Go Deeper series pt 1 | Ep 383
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Go Deeper: Why Intimacy Comes Before Purpose
I don’t know who decided that the start of a new year should feel like a pop quiz we didn’t study for… but here we are.
Suddenly everyone is optimizing, goal-setting, habit-stacking, and color-coding their lives.
Meanwhile, you might be sitting there wondering why your calling feels heavier than hopeful and you’re already behind.
You’re tired before the bubbles evaporated from your New Year’s toast.
Here’s the quiet truth I’m learning again and again…and again:
Before God ever trusted you with a purpose, He chose you for relationship.
📖 “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have loved you; abide in My love.”
John 15:9 (NASB)
That word abide isn’t hustle language.
It’s stay language.
It’s remain. Rest. Dwell.
It’s pull up a chair and lounge in your comfy P.J.’s snacking on your fav nosh kind of resting language.
We have to understand, life with God is a love story before it’s ever about our calling.
So here are three invitations for you to enjoy some seriously comfy intimacy with God.
1. Start From Beloved, Not Busy
One of the best tattoo’s I’ve seen that makes me laugh was this:
Jesus is coming. Look busy.
Now, I think that’s hilarious, but it’s not theologically correct.
The truth is…
Before you are a steward…
Before you are a builder…
Before you are a woman with a calling…
You are beloved.
📖 “To the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.”
Ephesians 1:6 (NASB)
Beloved isn’t something you earn.
Knowing you’re God’s beloved is your starting line.
When we forget this…
Purpose starts to feel like pressure…”I’ll never get it all done.”
Obedience feels fear-based…”I’ll never get it all right.”
Worth gets tangled up in outcomes…”I’m only worth what I do.”
Beloved, untangle all of that hot mess. That doesn’t come from Father.
Because you’re beloved regardless of what you do.
💡 Takeaway:
When you start from beloved, courage grows without the pressure to perform.
2. Rest in Belonging
Many of us were trained—by family systems, school systems, even church systems—to relate through performance.
Do good → receive approval, bonuses and praise.
Mess up → feel the wrath of Khan.
But, that’s not how Father works.
📖 “You have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out, ‘Abba! Father!’”
Romans 8:15 (NASB)
The word Abba is family language.
Safe language.
Run-to-the-arms-that-will-hold-you-and-comfort-you language.
Intimacy doesn’t come from doing more for God.
It flows from knowing you belong to and resting in that.
🧬 Science Note:
When the brain feels secure and accepted, resistance decreases and follow-through increases.
So belonging actually creates more capacity.
Novel thought. Science is catching up with what Father already said about us.
💡 Takeaway:
You don’t rest after you perform. You rest because you belong.
3. Work From Beloved
This one flips a lot of religious switches.
Obedience doesn’t create intimacy.
Intimacy fuels obedience.
📖 “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.”
John 15:9 (NASB)
Jesus love comes first. Your response follows.
When you live from beloved:
• Obedience becomes relational
• Courage feels steady
• Purpose carries joy again
✨ Takeaway:
You’re not working to be loved. You’re learning to live as loved.
🛠️ COURAGEOUS ACTION
This week, practice receiving.
Choose one simple way to let God love you without performing:
• Sit quietly and let Him speak first
• Read scripture as a love letter
• Whisper “Abba” and rest there
• Notice and reject any condemning voice
📖 Remember:
Condemnation never comes from Father. Belonging does.
Show Notes
🗓 Summary
I know what it’s like when purpose starts to feel like pressure and your relationship with God quietly turns into performance. In this episode, I’m inviting you to pause and go deeper. Before God asks anything of you, He calls you beloved. If you’re tired of striving and ready to live from intimacy instead of intensity, this episode is for you.
✨ Who This Is For
This episode is for faith-driven women entrepreneurs who:
• Feel behind or pressured at the start of a new season
• Want to live out their calling without proving themselves
• Long for deeper intimacy with Father
• Are ready to stop striving and start from beloved
🔎 What You’ll Learn
• Why intimacy must come before purpose
• How performance-based faith sneaks in without us noticing
• What it means to rest in belonging with Father
• How living from beloved changes obedience and courage
• Why receiving love is the foundation for faithful action
💬 Sound Bites
• “Before God asks anything of you, He calls you beloved.”
• “Your life with God is a love story before it’s a calling.”
• “You don’t work for love. You live from it.”
• “Intimacy fuels obedience.”
🛠️ Courageous Action
This week, choose one simple way to receive God’s love without performing. Sit quietly. Listen first. Read scripture as a love letter. Rest in belonging and gently reject any voice of condemnation.
⏱️ Chapters
00:00 – Feeling Behind Before the Year Even Starts
02:00 – Go Deeper Series Introduction
05:56 – Intimacy Before Purpose
08:06 – Start From Beloved, Not Busy
12:17 – Rest in Belonging
18:31 – Work From Beloved
22:54 – Courageous Action
27:16 – Next Episode: Father as Our Refuge
🎉 Who Am I
Hey friend, I’m Heather—your Courageous Coach.
I help Christian women entrepreneurs go from stuck, not-enough, and fearful to focused, confident, and courageous action so they can grow themselves and their businesses and actually live out the God-given dreams in their hearts.
💡 Let’s Stay Connected
📖 Hello Courageous Book: hellocourageous.com
🛒 Get on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4oSc855
🆓 Beat Procrastination Cheat Sheet: hellocourageous.com/beatit
🆓 Overcome Fear by Friday Challenge: hellocourageous.com/fearchallenge
🌐 Website: heatherbunch.com
📧 Email: hello@heatherbunch.com
📸 Instagram: @heatherlbunch