The Busy Woman's Stress-Free Guide To Getting It All Done - Step Five - Tips For Us Over-Committers
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Are you an over-committer? Do you find it easier to say yes even when your heart or schedule says you should say no?
This is me. I find myself not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings. “I know they put a lot of work into this event and it would mean so much to them if I came.” “What if no one else shows up? I don’t want them feeling abandoned?”
How do we keep ourselves from committing to way more than we should? How do we look at an opportunity and know if this is the best opportunity for us?
One Word – Priorities
If you’re not sure what you’re priorities are in life, please stop right now and click here to go to this post on setting priorities. You’ll need to know your priorities first if you’re going to be able to judge which opportunities are right for you.
What do priorities help us do?
1. Priorities help us live lives for God and not just ourselves.
They help us choose what God wants us to participate in.
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
He has a beautiful call on each of our lives. But, if we’re urgently rushing from one demand to another, we can miss out on His best for our lives.
So, this isn’t just about finding time. It’s about honoring God with the time we have. Living intentionally.
Priorities are about us learning to say yes to those opportunities that are truly meant to be our assignments.
2. Priorities help us determine what to say yes to.
We need to check-in with our priorities before we commit by looking at each opportunity and ask ourselves, “does this bring me closer to my priorities or further away?"
“The decisions we make dictate the schedules we keep. The schedules we keep determine the lives we live. The lives we live determine how we spend our souls.” The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
When I stop and look at my priorities, one of them is to put my family before those outside my family. This includes friends. That may sounds harsh, but it really isn’t. I have had many friends through the years, but I only have one family and they only have one Wife/Mom.
1 Corinthians 6:12 ESV
All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.
Tips for us over-committers:
Tip 1: Don’t say yes on the spot.
Try saying, “Thank you for the invite! Can I get back with you on this?”
This gives you a chance to evaluate if this is the best opportunity for you before committing.
Giving yourself this time gap before committing also helps eliminate the pressure you feel to say yes even if it’s not the best opportunity for you and your family.
Tip 2: Don’t confuse saying no as the same as being hurtful.
It’s all about how you say no.
“I will not let the awkward disappointment of others keep me from my Best Yes appointments with God.” The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
Know up front, it’s impossible to please everyone.
Tip 3: Release the clutter before you add more to your plate.
Release commitments before adding new commitments. This will keep us from getting overloaded.
Many of us aren’t in the habit of releasing things that are not priorities because of the fear of missing out.
One example might be, do your three kids that participate in three different sports each for each sport season? Do you feel like if they don’t get to try everything (even if they ask) some how they’ll miss out on who they will become in life?
In a situation like this, you could ask yourself, “Could my child (or children) benefit from focusing on one thing and achieving the best results they can?” By focusing on one activity rather than many they benefit from the power of laser focus. They can achieve far great results with laser focus than defused focus.
This principle also applies to our own schedules. We can’t expect to have the room for the best opportunities if we refuse to release the clutter.
Remember, today’s choices become tomorrow’s circumstances.
God has a wonderful plan for our lives. Let’s focus on the best opportunities for us and learn to say no to the rest.
Next week, we’re going to get practical with ways to start our mornings off right so we can accomplish these priorities and goals we’ve been talking about.