Podcast Episode 108 - What is holding onto hurt costing you...and others?
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Have you ever found it difficult to forgive?
Has someone hurt you, and you can’t seem to let it go?
Have you tried to let it go, but you find yourself thinking about that incident–again…rolling it over and over in your mind.
Today we’re talking about forgiveness and the cost of not forgiving and what it costs others.
Today’s for you:
If someone has ever hurt you.
If you tried to let go and forgive and can’t seem to.
If something is stopping you from forgiving.
Mom and Dad taught us to forgive...like that’s the first and biggest thing I remember them teaching us kids.
Now, it’s not that I didn’t fight with my brothers. Dave, my little brother and I got so mad at each other once I threw a dinner plate at him…, and I don’t mean a paper one.
But we couldn’t let 5 minutes go by before asking each other for forgiveness.
Not everyone I met understood forgiveness, so I chose to be the bigger person and asked for forgiveness first…a lot. I honestly got tired of having to be the bigger person.
I know it can be hard to forgive.
Sometimes I find it easier to change when I know what happens if we don’t. What are the consequences of holding on to unforgiveness?
Let’s discover how our decision to hold onto unforgiveness affects us–and others.
Hebrews 12:15 AMP
See to it that no one falls short of God’s grace; that no root of resentment springs up and causes trouble, and by it, many be defiled…
What is the root of resentment?
Resentment comes when we let unforgiveness go to the next level. We don’t let it go.
Resentment in some translations is bitterness.
Bitterness = having a harsh, disagreeably acrid taste; or hard to bear; grievous; distressful.
Just the word leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth. Bleh…
Unforgiveness seems so harmless on the surface. It only affects us, right?
I hate to spoil your childlike faith–NO.
Unforgiveness is like an infection. It affects the whole body.
Unforgiveness doesn’t just affect us.
It doesn’t just affect the person we have an issue with.
Unforgiveness affects MANY more people.
Let’s look at the second part of the verse.
“That no root of resentment springs up and causes trouble, and by it, many be defiled...”
Many in this scripture mean a significant number. However, it has an emphasis added to it that means not just many but a TREMENDOUS amount.
When we hold onto unforgiveness, it turns into resentment or bitterness, and it doesn’t just affect a few people but a TREMENDOUS amount of people. Ouch!
But let’s dig a little deeper. “You gotta dig a little deeper, to find out what you want...”
When we let unforgiveness take root in our lives, the scripture says it “causes trouble.”
It causes trouble in the Greek fascinating. It means a tumultuous crowd– a mob; vex someone with the force of a raging mob (a mighty momentum carrying someone along).
Picture it–unforgiveness VEXES others with a force of a RAGING mob!
Have you ever seen mob footage when that country’s soccer team wins? The crowd is flipping over cars, setting fires, looting…Total mayhem.
First, if we let our unforgiveness take root and defile others–it mobs them.
It robs them, flips their lives upside down, and sets fire to the things they love. No one is ever the same.
Wow–that makes me pause and think–am I holding on to any unforgiveness in my life? Have I let it take root?
You know I have. Just yesterday, I told a friend a story about a past hurt that was almost 30 years ago…and I cried. I didn’t realize I was still holding some unforgiveness.
Let’s go one step further as if a vexing mob wasn’t enough.
This verse says, “by it, many be defiled.”
We’ve already learned that many are a tremendous amount of people affected. But what does it mean to defile?
Defile in Greek means to stain (with paint or dye); figuratively, it means to stain (defile) the soul.
Our unforgiveness stains the souls it comes in contact with.
It reminds me of the color run. By-standers throw paint on those that run by staining them with a rainbow of colors.
This paint comes off relatively easily, but it doesn’t come out so quickly when we allow our unforgiveness to stain someone’s soul.
So, let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up. …
Unforgiveness turns into bitterness and resentment when we let it take root and don’t let it go.
Then, bitterness acts like an irrational mob descending like the crazy mob in the streets, destroying everyone and everything in its path.
So bitterness hurts us, AND it also defiles a TREMENDOUS amount of people along the way.
It literally stains souls, bringing them fear, anger, resentment, unrest, and pain.
What in the world do we do?
God is a God of grace. If we’ve let bitterness take root, we can ask forgiveness and choose to let it go.
But, realize the damage has been done. Others have been defiled / polluted / stained by our choice to allow the root of bitterness to grow.
Well…now what?
2. Go to the person you have an issue with and make it right.
If you cannot go to the person directly, say a prayer of forgiveness. Put your foot down and say no more. You choose to forgive and let it go.
Ask forgiveness when you go to anyone that’s been “stained” in your unforgiveness wake. It helps them forgive and clean off the “paint” that’s stained them.
I want to leave you with one more thought.
3. Prevention is the best medicine…
Start by pulling unforgiveness up when it’s small before those roots grow deep.
Still, having a hard time forgiving?
The easiest way to forgive is to remember the grace God gave us.
Our Heavenly Father gave His only Son so we could be forgiven. He has made us the righteousness in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). We didn’t deserve it, but He gave it anyway.
When you choose to offer others the same grace God offers you, you’ll find it so much easier to let it go.
“Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door…”
You know, that actually is quite fitting…hehehehehe
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