What do you do when you make a mistake?

Do you beat yourself up verbally? Or, do you say, “That’s okay, I’ll get em’ next time”?

Unfortunately, I think most of us have to would say the former. Many of us beat ourselves up verbally without mercy. I remember my old response (and somedays still) to a mistake used to be, “You’re so stupid Heather. You never get it right.”

"Negative self-talk is not humility. It’s self-defeat. It’s a toxic habit that muddies our ability to see ourselves as loved and treasured by God." Tiffany Bluhm

We’ve been talking about Self-image and self-worth lately. What comes out my mouth is really a by-product of what I think about my self. If you missed that you can catch up by clicking here.

When was the last time you talked negatively about your self?

I've been in the swells of negative self-talk lately. I keep thinking I can't do what I feel like I'm called to do. At best, I'm just really good at working on databases and trouble-shooting, but to coach, write and speak...that's for all those high D's in my life (referencing DISC profile).

"Your negative self-talk doesn’t affect only you. It stings those around you." Tiffany Bluhm

Our negative self-talk will not just keep us from accomplishing what God's called us to do and help us be all He's created us to be, it means that others aren't fed by what we bring to the table.

We’re uniquely created so we can reach some that other's can't.

God didn't create different personalities to give us an excuse to not step out of our comfort zone, but to help others relate to us and be encouraged they can do it too!

How do we stop the negative self-talk?

1. Practice Self-Compassion

No one–I repeat–NO ONE is perfect, except Jesus.

But, the good news is, we don’t have to be perfect. In fact, our Heavenly Father already knows that. That’s why He sent Jesus. We couldn’t do it on our own.

Philippians 1:6 NKJV
Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

We are not the sum of our mistakes. So, let's give ourselves some slack!

“Refuse to rehash your mistakes, replay them or otherwise worship them.” Tommy Newberry - The 4:8 Principle

2. Stop Talking

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Thumper

This is still valid advice. Just don’t say it if it’s not positive about yourself.

Think,"Would I say what I'm about to say to myself to my best friend?" I hope not or they probably won’t be your best friend for long. 😉

Some times, the way we are talking about or to ourselves, is a habit. It’s time to break it!

3. Replace Negative Self-Talk With A "To Speak" List

Replace our negative talk with pre-determined positive talk about ourselves.

We all know our usual “go to” negative talk about ourselves. Let’s turn in on it’s ear.

Create a “To Speak” list ahead of time with positive things about ourselves.

Now, whenever we're about to say that negative thing about ourselves, go to our "To Speak" list and speak out something from our list instead.

This is saying what God says about us rather than what we're feeling about ourselves in the moment.

Here’s some samples to get you started:

I always make this mistake…

I am not the sum of my mistakes. I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

I’ll never get this right…

I may not always get it right, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13).

“We can’t always make the right decision, but we can make every decision right.” - Andy Andrews

This always happens to me…

This may have happened to me in the past, but it doesn’t have to ruin my life. I choose to focus on what’s going good in my life. (Hebrews 12:2)

The words we use today are literally creating the world we’ll experience tomorrow! Depending on our focus, that could be a serious problem or an amazing opportunity!

You our treasured and loved by our Heavenly Father! You are gifted and created for such a time as this! Talk to yourself like you are and create a beautiful opportunity for tomorrow!

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