Podcast Episode 132 - Three questions to help you release the perfectionist pressure valve
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Do you feel like you're under pressure to get it right? Especially during the holidays.
Are you the kind of person that obsesses over every detail?
When was the last time you actually enjoyed the holidays? No really enjoyed it!
In today's podcast episode, I'll give you three questions to release that perfectionist pressure valve.
Today is for you if:
If you're tired of the pressure of being perfect.
If you desire to release the pressure to people-pleaser or the fear of judgment.
If you're ready to enjoy the holidays and family again.
I used to put so much pressure on myself to make the perfect desserts and all from scratch, of course. I made my pumpkin pie from a real pumpkin I baked, and I even hand-carved leaves to create the edging.
The pressure would lead me to blow up if something went wrong, like the crust got too browned.
No one is perfect and guess what? God doesn't expect us to be perfect, either.
Even that scripture, "be perfect as I am perfect," (Matthew 5:48) doesn't mean what we think it means.
Perfect in this scripture means: mature from passing through the necessary stages to reach the end goal.
It's explained like a pirate telescope opening up in stages. We’re a work in progress and that’s okay.
So here are three questions that will help you release that perfectionism pressure valve.
1. Why
Ask yourself, "why do I think it has to be perfect?"
What's the root issue?
Do I fear the judgment of others?
Do I need to put off a particular image or outshine others?
Do I need to feel loved?
Is it people-pleasing?
Have to do the "right thing"?
Do you need someone to be proud of you?
2. Would my family/friends want it to be perfect, or do they want me present?
I'll give you a hint…they want you present.
My grandma on my mom's side was the first perfectionist I knew. We had to take our shoes off but couldn't take our socks off because the oil on our feet would hurt the carpet. And that was just to get into the door of her house.
My other grandma, however, had a clean but comfortable apartment that was kid friendly and always welcoming.
One guess where I wanted to hang out.
My guess is that your family and friends would rather have you present instead of all the perfectness.
3. How can I make this "good enough"?
AKA - how can you simplify?
I've cut out making my pumpkin from scratch because, you know what? Canned pumpkin is good enough. I still make my crust from scratch but stopped handcuffing leaves. The pinched edges are good enough.
This year the kids and I are making cut-out sugar cookies so they can decorate them. I'm making the cookie dough from scratch, but you know what? I bought a can of frosting and am going to run it through my kitchen aid mixer, and it will double or triple in size, making it taste closer to homemade…thanks Pinterest! And it's good enough.
How about you?
How can you make your holidays and life "good enough"?
When you do, it releases that perfectionism pressure value. You can also be more present with your family and friends.
And hey, you'll have more time and space to enjoy what really matters most–your family and friends!
If you need more help releasing the perfectionism and becoming your best self in 2023, click here and fill out the form for a discovery session with me.
Let's see if we're a great fit to work together so you can discover your path to transformation so you can stop hiding, show up fully yourself and fulfill your God-given purpose.