Podcast Episode 179 - To Communicate or Not to Communicate pt 2 – Speak Up
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Are your relationships thriving, surveying or dying?
Have you ever struggled to share your thoughts, opinions or needs with those closest to you?
Do you feel others should know what you need, and it bothers you that they don’t get it?
Communication is the lifeblood of relationships, and it determines whether relationships thrive, survive or die. In the last episode, you learned that you must know yourself first to that communicate with others. Today, I’m sharing how you can communicate what you need.
Today is for you if…
If you struggle communicating what you really want, need or feel.
If you’re tired of feeling resentful when those closest to you don’t get you.
If you’re ready to speak up instead of continuing on the stuff-it program.
Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship you’ll experience.
In the last episode, I asked you to write down what you need communication to look like to thrive in a relationship.
Now it’s time to communicate your needs to others.
No one is a mind reader. You must speak up and express what you need.
James 4:2 says, “You have not because you ask not.”
“Hello, my name is Heather, and I’m a stuffaholic.”
No, I’m not a hoarder, although I live my life in piles.
I’ve struggled to speak up for myself and share my thoughts, opinions and needs.
The problem with stuffing it is I built up resentments through the years with many of my closest relationships. This strains the relationship and builds an unseen wall that keeps us from getting closer.
It wasn’t until we were at the point of bankruptcy that I finally freed myself of this stuff-it addiction. I finally shared my real feelings about the financial decisions. And then, I shared I need a safe space to help me be open and honest.
Over the next few years, I’ve worked through my fears and now share what I need when I need it.
Five guidelines to help you share what you need:
Be Brave
Do it afraid. You’ll never feel like it, so just step out and do it. As you do, you’ll generate the courage to do it again.
Be Honest
First, share that you need a safe space to help you work through your fear of sharing what you need.
Then, share what you need. Please don’t share what you think they think you need.
Be Clear
Don’t beat around the bush. Come out and say it so the other person will understand it.
Be Respectful
You can be honest and straightforward and not a jerk. Watch your tone and body language. It speaks louder than your words alone.
Be Open
Be open to hearing what the other person needs. It’s very likely the opposite of you.
If they don’t respond as you’d hoped, don’t get defensive; that will only heat up the conversation. Stay open to seeing their side and receive what they may need.
These guidelines work for any difficult conversation you need to have.
Remember, communication is the lifeblood of your relationship. If you want healthy, thriving ones, you’ve got to nurture those relationships through healthy communication.
Homework:
Decide what difficult conversation you need to have, and then go have it.
Next up, what happens when the tables are turned, and your spouse or friend needs to have a difficult conversation with you? What do you do? How do you respond? I’ll break it down in the next episode.
Fear is one of the biggest blocks when it comes to knowing ourselves and communicating that with others.
If you struggle with overcoming fear in any area of your life, My friends Becky Michel and Kat Schudel and I created a workshop just for you.
The Your Fearless Journey workshop is Saturday, March 11, 2023, from 9 am - 12 pm CT.
You’ll walk away with real-world tools to get you unstuck and overcome the fear holding you back so you can live your life courageously and wildly inspired!
We’re offering it’s only $47.
So if you’re ready to conquer your fears with confidence and courage, go to yfjpodcast.com to register.
Thanks a bunch for listening!